Glad to have found your Substack. I’m older than you (young GenX), but I can’t came to question gender ideology after initially being supportive of the movement. I really feel for the college aged people going to school in this current environment. It can’t be easy. Speaking up against it, or even asking questions, is riskier for you. Are you still in college?
I started asking questions after I looked into the JK Rowling controversy. I read what she actually said and didn’t see a hateful message. What hatred I did see came from trans activists responding to her Tweets with threats. Reading their hate made me see the misogyny, it wasn’t hard to find. There were no moderate voices among activists pushing back against the harassment directing at JKR. It was accepted.
Reading this was actually very revealing. When it comes to human diversity, gender ideology may seem inclusive at first because it accepts an infinite array of gender identities. However, it turns out that curiosity is not acceptable, even though it's a completely normal, healthy, and fundamental aspect of humanity. Even though I have always suspected political correctness to have a bias against critical thinking, your experiences when asking questions make it not too far fetched to assume that it goes further than just a bias. It turns out that gender ideology is grossly, cynically, and directly against any sense of questioning or space for critical thought.
45 year old female here. I married a man and had kids (very traditional, lol). But I also went through academia and hold two doctorates. I hated dolls, don't understand how to use a hairdryer, can't figure out how to sit properly in a dress, and love building with legos (yes, to this day). In middle school, I hated my body and had no idea how to clothe it or move it. I was bullied for most of my childhood.
My point is that if I had grown up in more recent times, I fear I would have been labeled non-binary at best or really a trans man at worst. What I am is a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypical female traits. Doesn't make me less of a woman. It just makes me a different type of woman than other women. My biggest complaint about gender ideology is that it tells girls and women that if you don't like dresses and you don't like makeup and you aren't attracted to boys and you don't want to be a mother, then you aren't really a woman. How is that any better than what women were told in the 1950's and earlier?
I think your story is very important and brave. If I hadn't been born in the 50s, I too might have gone down the road of gender ideology. I was a tomboy and was bullied for being "gay" in high school. Now I would be labeled a TERF, even though I believe in every individual's right to express themselves freely and I have equal respect for everybody. I just fear for children who can't give consent . . . but recently I learned from Twitter that even many de-transitioners would consider me a TERF.
Did you read Judith Butler? Especially "Gender Trouble" even though it is dense read.
A lot of your questions sprung from the philosophical events happening in the first half of the 20th century. Concretely in phenomenology - since de Beauvoir (in 1949) started her feminist project about gender ("one is not born but rather becomes a woman") in phenomenology which is not very political in a sense that it's very individual, subjective. I.e. defining rape legally in many countries around the globe is hard because for a lot of women it is something different, felt different, perceived differently. So to make a once phenomenological project into political-legal one is a slippery slope. So yeah, defining what is a woman is hard and defending their rights too. But not just women, but mens also.
A lot of the "thinking critically and analytically" slogans are said today that thinking is hard and should be deep. I agree, but most of the times it just stops at the bay. Thinking about gender shouldn't be dogma. As every topic it should be subjugated to contemporary methods of thought and philosophy and psychology and other social sciences. It's shouldn't be finished project - it is certainly not. Your questions are great! Keep asking them, keep searching for answers. Even partial ones. And then when you find some answers, ask again and the search continues.
This. This is the nugget. Thank you, Kiyah! I am a life long leftie (GenX) living in a liberal city with a trans-identified 17 year old. I can't even bring up these issues for discussion without losing friends - many of them old friends. All well-meaning, but unwilling to think rather than simply react. My kid is young for their age - I want to support them, but there is so much pressure to jump into taking hormones and having top surgery. Several of their friends have already done this, and they are not yet 18. As parents, we will support them if they are actually trans, but there was absolutely no sign of this until mid way though the second remote learning year when they were diving deep online and formed an intense relationship with a slightly older kid in the process of transitioning. Our kid was bullied severely and has extremely low self esteem - desperate for inclusion. We want to make sure that they are in a healthy place before making irreversible decisions. There is a societal problem when an issue cannot be discussed without screaming by the two polarized sides. It's a much more nuanced issue than either are presenting it, and sadly kids like mine are making decisions that many, many are likely to regret. And mine may. Here's to civil discussion and getting to the roots of truth, whatever they are.
Thank you for writing this - I really enjoyed reading it. It's one thing to theorise that a lot of gender identities come from social pressure but to hear your personal story makes it clear that so many people are endangered by this. The fact you were considering hormones and surgery to fit in with your peer group is really scary. So glad you're out of the cult - looking forward to reading more of your posts
Much of this has long been in the works since many of you were likely born. I strongly encourage people to read Gross and Levitt's 1994 Higher Superstition: The Academic Left and Its Quarrels with Science, both who are "men of the left" concerned about the anti-rational takeover of academia. There is likely pdfs now available of it online that one can find as well.
Hi Kiyah, thanks for sharing your journey. I like people who ask questions. I grew up pretty conservative, Christian, and traditional. As I became a young man, my brother revealed that he was gay. That fairly upset our basket of reality but I wasn't going to dis my brother over it. He had some rough relationships which bothered me but eventually met his true soul mate. He also took me to his gay bars and was introduced to his world. It was out of my comfort zone, but I loved my brother. The AIDS epidemic in the 80's and 90's removed most of that community and my brother. He was a smart, creative, generous, infectiously likeable guy.
I miss him greatly.
Someone else's journey is that. I think many people don't know that they don't know. It happens with race, with gender and even economic status. It's easier to box this group or that, often courtesy of our media and culture. We need these conversations. Thanks for keeping it real. Kindness and care to you. 👍❤️
I'm running for a school board trustee position in Canada. Part of the shared policy platform I'm running on deals with the teaching of "gender ideology" in K-12 schools and school boards engaging in forced "gender affirmation" policies in the classroom. These links might be of interest to anyone else dealing with this.
Glad to have found your Substack. I’m older than you (young GenX), but I can’t came to question gender ideology after initially being supportive of the movement. I really feel for the college aged people going to school in this current environment. It can’t be easy. Speaking up against it, or even asking questions, is riskier for you. Are you still in college?
I started asking questions after I looked into the JK Rowling controversy. I read what she actually said and didn’t see a hateful message. What hatred I did see came from trans activists responding to her Tweets with threats. Reading their hate made me see the misogyny, it wasn’t hard to find. There were no moderate voices among activists pushing back against the harassment directing at JKR. It was accepted.
Anyways, glad to hear your thoughts.
Reading this was actually very revealing. When it comes to human diversity, gender ideology may seem inclusive at first because it accepts an infinite array of gender identities. However, it turns out that curiosity is not acceptable, even though it's a completely normal, healthy, and fundamental aspect of humanity. Even though I have always suspected political correctness to have a bias against critical thinking, your experiences when asking questions make it not too far fetched to assume that it goes further than just a bias. It turns out that gender ideology is grossly, cynically, and directly against any sense of questioning or space for critical thought.
45 year old female here. I married a man and had kids (very traditional, lol). But I also went through academia and hold two doctorates. I hated dolls, don't understand how to use a hairdryer, can't figure out how to sit properly in a dress, and love building with legos (yes, to this day). In middle school, I hated my body and had no idea how to clothe it or move it. I was bullied for most of my childhood.
My point is that if I had grown up in more recent times, I fear I would have been labeled non-binary at best or really a trans man at worst. What I am is a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypical female traits. Doesn't make me less of a woman. It just makes me a different type of woman than other women. My biggest complaint about gender ideology is that it tells girls and women that if you don't like dresses and you don't like makeup and you aren't attracted to boys and you don't want to be a mother, then you aren't really a woman. How is that any better than what women were told in the 1950's and earlier?
I think your story is very important and brave. If I hadn't been born in the 50s, I too might have gone down the road of gender ideology. I was a tomboy and was bullied for being "gay" in high school. Now I would be labeled a TERF, even though I believe in every individual's right to express themselves freely and I have equal respect for everybody. I just fear for children who can't give consent . . . but recently I learned from Twitter that even many de-transitioners would consider me a TERF.
Did you read Judith Butler? Especially "Gender Trouble" even though it is dense read.
A lot of your questions sprung from the philosophical events happening in the first half of the 20th century. Concretely in phenomenology - since de Beauvoir (in 1949) started her feminist project about gender ("one is not born but rather becomes a woman") in phenomenology which is not very political in a sense that it's very individual, subjective. I.e. defining rape legally in many countries around the globe is hard because for a lot of women it is something different, felt different, perceived differently. So to make a once phenomenological project into political-legal one is a slippery slope. So yeah, defining what is a woman is hard and defending their rights too. But not just women, but mens also.
A lot of the "thinking critically and analytically" slogans are said today that thinking is hard and should be deep. I agree, but most of the times it just stops at the bay. Thinking about gender shouldn't be dogma. As every topic it should be subjugated to contemporary methods of thought and philosophy and psychology and other social sciences. It's shouldn't be finished project - it is certainly not. Your questions are great! Keep asking them, keep searching for answers. Even partial ones. And then when you find some answers, ask again and the search continues.
This. This is the nugget. Thank you, Kiyah! I am a life long leftie (GenX) living in a liberal city with a trans-identified 17 year old. I can't even bring up these issues for discussion without losing friends - many of them old friends. All well-meaning, but unwilling to think rather than simply react. My kid is young for their age - I want to support them, but there is so much pressure to jump into taking hormones and having top surgery. Several of their friends have already done this, and they are not yet 18. As parents, we will support them if they are actually trans, but there was absolutely no sign of this until mid way though the second remote learning year when they were diving deep online and formed an intense relationship with a slightly older kid in the process of transitioning. Our kid was bullied severely and has extremely low self esteem - desperate for inclusion. We want to make sure that they are in a healthy place before making irreversible decisions. There is a societal problem when an issue cannot be discussed without screaming by the two polarized sides. It's a much more nuanced issue than either are presenting it, and sadly kids like mine are making decisions that many, many are likely to regret. And mine may. Here's to civil discussion and getting to the roots of truth, whatever they are.
Thank you for writing this - I really enjoyed reading it. It's one thing to theorise that a lot of gender identities come from social pressure but to hear your personal story makes it clear that so many people are endangered by this. The fact you were considering hormones and surgery to fit in with your peer group is really scary. So glad you're out of the cult - looking forward to reading more of your posts
Much of this has long been in the works since many of you were likely born. I strongly encourage people to read Gross and Levitt's 1994 Higher Superstition: The Academic Left and Its Quarrels with Science, both who are "men of the left" concerned about the anti-rational takeover of academia. There is likely pdfs now available of it online that one can find as well.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higher_Superstition
Why do you support Israeli genocide?
Hi Kiyah, thanks for sharing your journey. I like people who ask questions. I grew up pretty conservative, Christian, and traditional. As I became a young man, my brother revealed that he was gay. That fairly upset our basket of reality but I wasn't going to dis my brother over it. He had some rough relationships which bothered me but eventually met his true soul mate. He also took me to his gay bars and was introduced to his world. It was out of my comfort zone, but I loved my brother. The AIDS epidemic in the 80's and 90's removed most of that community and my brother. He was a smart, creative, generous, infectiously likeable guy.
I miss him greatly.
Someone else's journey is that. I think many people don't know that they don't know. It happens with race, with gender and even economic status. It's easier to box this group or that, often courtesy of our media and culture. We need these conversations. Thanks for keeping it real. Kindness and care to you. 👍❤️
Gross transphobia from a complete fraud
I'm running for a school board trustee position in Canada. Part of the shared policy platform I'm running on deals with the teaching of "gender ideology" in K-12 schools and school boards engaging in forced "gender affirmation" policies in the classroom. These links might be of interest to anyone else dealing with this.
https://blueprintforcanada.ca/gender_ideology.html
https://blueprintforcanada.ca/gender_affirmation.html
Be assured, you are not alone. Parents everywhere are waking up.